I ask myself, "What's the point?"
"Every time you try to talk about it, it turns into a fight and nothing gets resolved."
"But if it doesn't get talked about, how can there ever be resolution?"
"If every time I open my mouth, it starts an argument, why even bother?""He knows what the problem is before you even say it, he doesn't want to hear it."
"You can't just keep everything to yourself until it boils over. You have to at least make the effort."
"Oh fuck. I might as well just say it, we're already fighting now anyway."
"It won't make any difference."
"Maybe this time it will."
Prompt 10: Girly-Girls -Two female college students sitting together.
"Oh man, my fingers are swollen. I think my rings are stuck!"
"Oh no! I hate when that happens. What did you eat yesterday?"
"I can't remember. I'm not sure. Oh Christ, my wedding ring won't come off!"
"Did you eat a lot of salty stuff? That usually does it to me."
"My fingers look like fat little sausages! Ewww."
"No, they don't. They look fine."
"I feel gross and fat. This sucks."
"You look great, like always hun."
-- This is about all I could stand before moving to sit elsewhere. Girl 1 finally pried the ring off, and then proceeded to try to put it right back on, while girl 2 attempted to make her feel better.
Prompt 11: He said, she said.
"So what do you want for Valentines Day?" he asked.
"I already told you what I want," she replied.
"If you want a ring, I'll get you a ring," he said.
"I don't want you to get me a ring because it's what I want," she replied. "I want you to get me a ring because you want to, because it means something to you."
"I'm not getting you an engagement ring," he said, with an irritated glance in her direction.
"That isn't what I'm asking for," she replied.
"I don't see marriage causing anything but heartache for me," he said. "And I don't need a piece of paper or a ring to prove that I'm committed. All it is is a symbol, and it only has meaning to the person it belongs to."
"Fine," she said. "Get me whatever you want."
11--nice ear, sounds like basic lowlevel bickering. People with a feeling for dialogue often think that it's not a talent, that it's just being a tape recorder--and that's not so. Putting together lifelike dialogue is a special talent, like a sketch artist being able to capture a likeness in a few strokes.
ReplyDeleteGood ear in 9 too--it sounds like the silent sound track to 11
And then there's the wedding ring piece, almost as if 11 stood up and took a look into a future 'she' would like to avoid.
"Girl 1 finally pried the ring off, and then proceeded to try to put it right back on,"--nice eye there to go with the ear!
I do think it's like being a tape recorder, actually.
DeleteSo, dialogue and narrative, I'm doing okay at? I'm one of those finicky people who needs reassurance. There's always one in every class, right?
Be reassured, yes. But, no, you're the first and only student I've had in 40 years behind the desk who ever needed reassurance. There's always a first!
ReplyDeleteWell, now I just feel odd.
ReplyDeleteOf course writers need reassurance--bloody basketcase babies, all of us! Desperately eager for even a hint of approval.
ReplyDeleteBrad said you were being facetious. I don't read that sort of thing well. He doesn't seem to need any reassurance, so that's frustrating.
ReplyDelete