Week 10 prompts (catching up)

43.

I wake to a steady stream of oxygen blowing in my face. Dim lights and sterile curtains surround me. I know where I am, but can't remember why. The faint beep of the EKG beside me lulls me back into unconsciousness.

beep... beep... beep...

***

Please arrive by 6:30am. And don't forget,- no fluids or food after 11pm the night before.

The IV slides in, a trickle of blood leaks back into the clear tubing before the concoction of pain killers starts seeping into my vein.

This'll just help after you wake up.

Harsh, florescent lights in a sterile white room. Despite being bright it's dreary. Formalities and procedures, forms to sign and date. A new face, with a needle, comes in and injects something in my IV.

This'll make you sleepy. It might burn.

Burning. My entire arm. My veins are on fire. How could anyone feel sleepy with so much pain? Rolling down the hallway, with more white and florescent lights. Through two huge doors we reach the main event, center stage. Huge lights above me, halogens now. Cold white sheets, and fake smiling faces. 

Breath deeply through this mask and count. 

The feeling of suffocation and what I can only liken to a seizure takes over my body. Panic sets in, but I can't move. Then it all goes dark.

Just keep breathing deeply. 

45.

Omission is a lie. Vagueness buys time, delays the inevitable, but anything less than the truth is a lie. Saying and meaning are as different as saying and doing. I deal in specifics to avoid such trespass. You tip-toe around truths, because in the end you never said.. Never admitted, just omitted. That is how you play the game, but it is a losing game - no one wins.

Half-truths are whole lies. There's no future in it.

49.


Every day, every other day, or even just every so often... it's the same. The start of it is different, there's always something. Some reason or another. Pointless or important, there's always something. Usually pointless. Needless. But it's enough to start it all over again. 
It's always the same. The same cues, the same cycle through emotions. The same result. Nothing changes, but everything does. Sharp tongues leave a bitter taste.