Week 1: Journal, Day Five & Six

Yesterday was just blah. Brad started classes, and his Mon & Wed's classes are 2pm-8pm. We have one vehicle. Which means I take him to school, pick kids up from school, do the home-life stuff, dinner & whatnot, and pick him up later. Never fun. Thankfully, his first day went short. Unfortunately, it went short enough that after I had picked up the kids, I had taken them to the dentist, Brad got out of class while we were there. Oh well. It was a really uneventful day & night though. I had hoped while he was at class to actually get off my ass and do something around the house though I'm still sore, but with all the running back and forth and him getting out early, it just didn't happen. I feel useless and lazy. I've felt this way since Saturday, regardless of how I've physically felt. It was yet another cold night in the house, and Brad was unimpressed that I hadn't called the landlord to complain. He is a flighty old man, who is too kind for his own good, and I feel bad. He said he would call him himself.

This morning started great. Aside from it being freezing everywhere except my bed, which can mostly be attributed to Brad's body putting off enough heat to warm a small country. Great morning. But then real life kicks in, and there are kids to dress and take to school, college classes to attend. I'm one of those anti-social people who is really uncomfortable in groups and crowds of people I don't know. It stresses me out, for no specific reason except I don't know these people. Once I've become at least mildly acquainted, I really shine in social settings though. I'm well spoken, funny, interesting. No, I'm not bragging. Just once I'm comfortable, I'm golden. I think anyone could say the same, though each person has varying degrees of what it takes to get them to the comfortable zone. Obviously, college puts me right back in the uncomfortable seat. So, when faced with the stressful first day of a new class in the seemingly endless sea of random people I don't know, it's always nice to spot a face in the crowd that is familiar. Which I happened to be so lucky this morning. -insert intraweb emoticon smiley- Serious downside of today's class - professor is a d-bag. Seriously. I approached him apologetic for having no way to contact him prior to the first class which was Tuesday, to let him know I would be absent due to my medical situation from this previous weekend,  and was met with "I don't care." Now, I'm not asking for anyone to care about what happened this past weekend, nor me in particular as a student in a class of 30+, but what I am asking is that you, as my professor, acknowledge that I was absent with valid cause and not chastise me for it. Whatever. I've had some *ahem* challenging professors in my time as a student, I'm sure this won't be the last. The way people react to things makes me wonder what has caused them to have that sort of reaction. I associate things. A lot. Certain movies, music, pictures, etc remind me of very specific events/feelings/people. Good and bad. There are songs I won't listen to, and movies I won't watch, specifically because of the things I associate them with in my mind. I'm sure there is probably some psychoanalytical label that could be put on me for that, I just don't know what it is. I often wonder though, if other people are the same way. So when people react in certain ways, it sets off a series of what-if thoughts in my mind of how they got to that point, where this is the way they react to this specific thing. Brad always tells me that there is something wrong with me- with the way I associate things like I do, and that people don't think that way. At least, he doesn't. I like to think of it as both a blessing and a curse. I can vividly remember a great many things, down to very specific details, and I think it is because of the way my mind associates those things. Granted, when it is something negative I obviously avoid it, and that can be a serious downfall at times, but on the whole, I think it could be worse. A lot of the time it seems to be a downfall as far as Brad is concerned because it interferes with some movies he wants to watch usually. I can't help it though. Well, shit. this just turned into a whole lot of ranting about nothing. This was my day. Oh, apart from the humor of my 6 year old son sulking away saying that he wants his own phone, one last bit of humor. Brad telling me about his culinary class discussion yesterday, where a student and the professor had some words about 'organic' and non-organic foods. And all I can remember is this, from Brad: "...for a farmer to organically grow that same cow...." I don't know, it just made me chuckle until my eyes watered. Probably not as amusing out of context. Likely to be one of those random things that my mind associates at some point though. Goodnight!